Today while panickily packing my stuff to move out, I realized that everyone around me was celebrating their graduation. My former classmates in Communications department have flooded my Facebook news feed with bright smiles and shout-outs for weeks. As for myself, I decided to skip the ceremony like the last time I did on my community college’s graduation day. Not being sure about a plan for a Master’s degree, I realized that I possibly already missed the last commencement of my lifetime.
As I became aware of that, for a moment I freaked out wondering if later in life I would regret of not walking on a graduation day wearing a black gown rented for 70 bucks. It is likely that the answer will be No since I’m not a big fan of graduation day. It would be exciting to attend my friend’s commencement. Yet when it comes to my own, I don’t feel a thing in this pomp and circumstance, not even a single tiny bit of pride. There is no interest whatsoever in this particular occasion. A lot of students out there wouldn’t even consider skipping. I’m just not one of them.
All of what I wrote above sounds quite cocky but I sincerely do not have any impudent thought in mind. Graduation day deserves to be an important and memorable milestone for most people after all of the time and effort they have poured into learning and getting this degree. It is meant to celebrate the ending of a chapter in your life as well as the opening of the next one, to honor your effort and achievements.
That being said, it is just not my thing, especially when I have no reverence and dedication to my alma mater. What the professors have taught me is valuable but, to be honest, my university and I did not work out so well. I doubt if I would miss it someday and if so, it would be simply due to the fact that this school has taken a great deal of time in my 20s. Some places, some people, you simply miss them because they used to be a part of your dearest young days, a tiny cogwheel in the memory train. If they were replaced by another place or person (another cogwheel), the train would run just fine.
One more reason why a commencement is not something I would like to go for head-on during these hectic days is because I have been freakingly busy packing up, cleaning the apartment, and planning on moving to another (great) city. On another note, I genuinely love Texas and know that I will miss this state a great deal. So many happy things have happened here.
Still though, when Bear and I brought the last box from our old apartment to our Mazda, I felt a great sense of relief. As I dropped the key into a sneaker in front of the door for the new tenant to pick up and walked down the stair, there was such a freedom gently touching my skin and caressing my messy, frizzy hair. I was indeed free to move on to the next chapter of my life (now that it was mentioned, I gotta admit it feels pretty intimidating too.)
By the way, I know I’m not gonna regret this decision of skipping my commencement.